Spotlight: Worst Airports

LAX: Just fly to Ontario, Need I say more?
ORD: (Ohare) This place is swimming with people, be prepared to stand in line forever, for everything, including going to the potty.  Oh yea, don't even think about a close connection.
JFK: I'd rather rent a car and drive home.  Here's why:  Long connection time?  That's because it'll take you a week to navigate the place.  If you don't use up all your connection time, you'll wish you had bought that US Airways Club membership with the lack of services and products available.  Walking through JFK is like stepping into a catacomb which contains no elusive booty, dodging the snakes and pendulums and still getting slapped with a high priced ticket.  Fly elsewhere!
PHL: Thank goodness I don't have to connect here because its my home airport, but that still doesn't mean it's a good one.  Free internet only on the weekends?  What kind of crap is that Philly?  (try connecting to British Airways in the international terminal with "London" as a password)  Heaven forbid the poor fella to have to connect from the famed "F" terminal.  Nothing like taking a bus inside the flight line to the closest terminal.  Yuck!  Further to that, Its a bit of a hike to land in the "F" terminal and get to any kind of curbside service if PHL is your final destination. 
DFW: People in Dallas are just plain slow.  No offense to anyone from Dallas, because I understand the laid back culture, and I like it, but please people, kick it into high gear or move out of the way!  We all have connections and want our weekend at home, not waiting for another plane. 

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Happy flying!